Obedient Wives Club clari fies ‘better than a first-class prostitute’ statement. Says it was referring to elite types and not street hookers! But practical sex lessons are out.
Wednesday, June 8th, 2011 11:27:00
RAWANG: “OUR noble intention has been unfairly misinterpreted.”
That's the stance of the now infamous Obedient Wives Club (OWC) – launched only four days ago – which felt that its proclamation that wives should serve their husbands “better than a first-class prostitute” was taken in the wrong context.
Ever since the club’s vice-president, Dr Rohaya Mohamed, made the controversial statement last Saturday, it has been savaged and subjected to ridicule by the Press, women’s groups and religious bodies locally and internationally.
Dr Rohaya’s call was viewed by most as denigrating, as it painted a picture that women should always play a subservient role in a marriage.
The Malay Mail visited Bandar Country Homes in Rawang, where Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd – the multi-business corporation that runs OWC – is based and spoke with the club’s national director Fauziah Ariffin.
“I have been receiving non-stop calls since the launch,” said the jovial 40-something Fauziah, just after she hung up on a phone conversation with Time magazine, which were seeking to interview her.
“I believe we have been misunderstood and misinterpreted. When we said that husbands should treat their wives like first-class prostitutes, we were not putting wives on the same level with prostitutes. We are talking about first-class elite types, not street hooker types.
"Our wives provide men with top-level service. However, ordinary prostitutes can only provide good sex, but not love and affection which only a wife can provide.
“Hence, as wives, we must treat our husbands better. It’s not just in bed, but everything that a wife can offer. Optimise your role. If we provide our husbands more than a prostitute can give, then our husbands will not go out looking for it.”
Fauziah also argued that obedient wives will not cause husbands to take their partner for granted, but in fact, it will make them better husbands.
“When a husband comes home and receives good treatment from the wife, they become better and more loving husbands. Why would they treat their spouse badly if they are treated well?” she said.
“I also read somewhere that footballers often engage in sex with their partners or prostitutes before a match as this will boost their confidence. Likewise, when a husband gets a healthy dose of good sex they become motivated at work.”
Fauziah stressed that in Islam, there are four things that wives must do to enter heaven: to pray, to fast during Ramadan, to protect their chastity, and to be obedient wives – and it is often the fourth aspect that modern wives neglect.
She clarified that the club will not be giving out practical sex lessons.
“Of course not! There won’t be practical sex classes. That’s haram.”
She was asked to explain another controversial statement by Dr Rohaya earlier, that the club would provide bedroom lessons to the OWC's 1,000 members.
Fauziah said their lessons will consist of motivational talks and discussions among the members. The talks will be conducted by her, Dr Rohaya, and eight other committee members.
“Dr Rohaya is a counsellor and she always has people, young and old, coming to her and seeking advice about their love lives. Even husbands come to her!”
The club was first introduced in Amman, Jordan on May 1, before it was launched in Malaysia last week.
On June 18, the club will launch its chapter in Jakarta, Indonesia.
"There are plans to spread the club to Europe," said Fauziah, adding that Dr Rohaya is currently in Paris to organise talks in the French capital.
'Husbands come first'
FAUZIAH: Should not dismiss sex as unimportant
MEMBERS of the Obedient Wives Club (OWC) feel the hullabaloo on their newly-formed group is misplaced.
They told The Malay Mail they found nothing wrong with their club and its inception was fully justified.
“The modern wife seems to forget that it is her responsibility to keep the husband satisfied. They are too engrossed with their own career and leisure, they neglect their true responsibility,” said a member who wished to be identified as Mariam.
“Perhaps our club will help remind women of our task as wives. In Islam, it is an obligation for wives to obey their husbands, so I don’t find anything wrong with the club.”
Another member, who preferred anonymity, said she was not ashamed to join the club.
"There is nothing controversial about our noble movement as people should not be ashamed to speak up or seek advice from others to improve our sex lives," she said.
"Club members exchange information, experiences and ideas with each other without feeling embarrassed."
OWC has also been staunchly supported by some men.
“Ever since the launch, OWC offices in Rawang have been visited by so many people, including the Press seeking interviews with club members,” said a male religious teacher at the headquarters of the club, Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd.
“What is wrong with asking wives to obey their husbands? This is a practice that dates back to ancient times.”
Hunger leads to anger
"A HUNGRY man is an angry man," said Obedient Wives Club coordinator Fauziah Ariffin in explaining why an active sex life is important in a marriage.
She said that when there is lack of sex from wives in a marriage, the husbands would seek sex elsewhere, including from prostitutes, and even rape and incest.
"If a man has his own 'angel' (bidadari) at home, the one who looks after him and satisfy his every need, logically, would he be looking for others?" asked Fauziah.
"In our society, wives often feel sex is a taboo subject, hence their negligence in addressing the sexual matter in their marriage."
Fauziah said a marriage do not revolve around sex only, but it plays a major role between husband and wife.
"We have to look at this reality with an open mind and should not dismiss sex as unimportant, just because we are shy to confront it."
Fauziah said in a modern society, working wives have little choice but to balance their work with personal life.
"This is the challenge which modern women have to embrace, to be an ideal Muslim wife. If she struggles and triumphs through all these challenges, I believe she will be rewarded by her husband.
Media frenzy
OBEDIENT Wives Club national director Fauziah Ariffin has been receiving incessant calls from local and foreign media since the club's national launch on Saturday.
"TIME magazine just asked whether I could be interviewed soon," said Fauziah, adding she recently had a Skype (Internet web-conferencing service) with BBC-UK.
She said local journalists have been coming to Rawang in droves, where Global Ikhwan is based, over the past 72 hours.
"The attention has been massive.
"But we don't mind giving our take on the matter."
Ikhwan has it all
THOSE who visit the commercial area along Jalan Desa 9 at Bandar Country Homes in Rawang, can’t help but notice that most of the business signboards bear the name “Ikhwan”.
This is where the many businesses of Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd – a multi-national conglomerate formed by ex-members of the banned Al-Arqam group – are based.
There are all kinds of trading to be found here, from bakeries and sundry shops to boutiques and medical clinics.
Besides the newly-launched Obedient Wives Club, Global Ikhwan also made international headlines not too long ago when it formed the controversial Ikhwan Polygamy Club in 2009, which encourages husbands to take more than one wife to satisfy their masculine desires.
Wednesday, June 8th, 2011 11:09:00
I CANNOT believe how the issue of the ‘Kelab Isteri Taat’ (directly translated as ‘Obedient Wives Club’ or OWC) has grown into such a huge firestorm the last week or so.
As those following the story may have read, Dr Rohaya Mohamad, the vice-president of the now-world-infamous club, reportedly said something along the lines of “wives must learn to satisfy their husbands’ sexual needs to prevent him from seeking other women”. She was also quoted as saying that part of the club’s goals is to educate women how to please their husbands “like a first class prostitute”.
Naturally, such politically incorrect statements did not sit too kindly with a lot of people, especially women. The club’s stand is widely seen as taking a few steps backwards in the long-fought battle for women’s rights and gender equality.
Going by the fiery comments and condemnations the OWC had drawn, it seemed pretty obvious among many the club’s very existence is unacceptable in a modern, progressive world.
Assuming, of course, that everything reported before this was NOT taken out of context or misquoted, the anger is fully justified.
A wife should not be held accountable if her husband strays.
He’s the bad guy, he betrayed her trust and his sacred vow to commit only to her.
Blaming the wife as ‘not obedient or sexually ful filling enough’ for his infidelity is not only grossly unfair, it is also quite frankly, downright stupid.
Such quick escape is a scrotumless way of solving problems many selfish people take.
Instead of making the effort to solve his marital problems, he looks outside for distractions, ending up inviting more problems.
Instead of facing the painful issues and making difficult decisions, he blames everyone else and absolves himself from guilt.
Such actions also degrade both women and men, and the whole idea of marriage itself. It is absolutely insulting to suggest women are nothing but sexual objects whose sole purpose in life is to make their men ‘happy’.
It is equally insulting to say that men are mindless animals who are driven only by their lust.
Women are not, and should not, behave like submissive whores, and men are not, and should not, behave like brainless, horny swine.
So it’s not fair to even insinuate those negative stereotypes.
What’s worse is that such a notion would drive a wedge between good-thinking women and men. It feeds the polar opposite sides of the spectrum — lusty and irresponsible men go ‘Yay!’ at the suggestion, taking it as a licence to go further astray, while men-hating women take it as fuel to further bash all men, good and bad.
While it makes for good jokes and heated debates, it doesn’t serve any good purpose.
Let’s just all calm down and try to sift through all the angst and name-calling.
First of all, let’s accept that despite our di fferences, men and women are equal in many, many ways, especially in this age of enlightenment. Most times, we look for the same things — happiness, love, security, comfort, companionship, compassion, passion, sense of belonging, purpose and other good things.
On the flip side, both men and women also share similar weaknesses — pride, lust, anger, greed, envy and so on. We both do good, and we both make the same mistakes. Meaning, both men AND women fall to temptations, both cheat, and sadly, both become victims.
Secondly, whatever the statements and suggestions the OWC made, while probably based on some valid points, are severely one-sided and PR-unfriendly, which are detrimental not only to society, but also to their own cause.
For example, the word ‘obedient’ is hardly an appropriate tag these days. ‘Obedient’ traditionally carries a submissive or subjugated context, and in the age and society where there are more female graduates than males, you can’t expect it to be accepted, can you? For goodness sake, there are so many other, more friendly terms out there — here’s a simple one: ‘Good’. Or the Malay equivalent: ‘Mithali’, which connotes kind, responsible, understanding, or model. We’ve used ‘mithali’ on mothers, fathers, children … why not wives?
And while you’re at it, why limit it to a just a wives club — include the husbands! Marriage is a two-way relationship, so make it a ‘Mithali Spouses Club’. That’s because if you want to push for obedient wives, it has to be coupled with responsible husbands, who are just as obedient to their commitments and promises.
Additionally, if you want to provide ‘tips and lessons’ for bedroom activities, it’s not just the wives who need lessons, husbands have a lot to learn too in that department, yes?
So I say, let’s just take a chill pill and look at what we all want, happy marriages and families, peace and harmony (or at least, less angst) between the sexes, respect, dignity and fairness. We need each other, so let’s ignore all the idiocy, and take the positive things from this ugly and unnecessary episode and move on.
IRWAN ABDUL RAHMAN is the executive editor, lifestyle, entertainment and new media of The Malay Mail, in addition to being the paper’s resident cartoonist. He advocates falling in love, but with eyes open and brain functioning. He blogs at www.nose4news.wordpress.com, tweets @irwanargh and can be contacted at irwan@mmail.com.my.
Warm Regard, Sara Pandian
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